I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
