im about as happy as oj after his trial
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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