Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
