I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
