My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
