you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
