She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Couch. On fire.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
