Non-Jews are for practice
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
