It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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