Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
