I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
