I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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