there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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