i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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