I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
