Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
