I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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