Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Panties = found
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