Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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