Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
