R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
