i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
