Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
