Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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