im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
