She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
