Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
