ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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