Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
