This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Boobs are out for the taking
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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