i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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