all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
