OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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