Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Found your dick twin last night
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
