Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
My vagina is very pro this idea
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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