omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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