just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
