so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
