I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
