party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
