Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
