with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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