With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
