I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
