i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
