do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
