all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
