There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
