i jhust puked up my retainher.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
