For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
