I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You're like the curious george of whores
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
